Episode 9-3: Remember Who You Are

In the concluding part of our space station rescue mission, our heroes Euan, James, Ross and Scott have five minutes (give or take a few for dramatic effect) to find Stuart and get out before a reckless neon-haired space witch opens fire on them. Armed with their weapons, plus some new knowledge of how to talk to the station’s computer, they set out on a space walk to try to steal back Stuart from Dr Opticon’s lab. But is there anything left of their friend to save?

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Episode 9-2: The Armoury

It hits the fan in the second part of our space station rescue mission! Having already used a wrench to great, if morally dubious effect, our heroes search for a secret cache of weapons to continue their rampage. Along the way, James displays almost sociopathic multitasking skills, Euan shows some sporadic commitment to the whole pirate thing, Ross wets himself and Scott delivers a sick burn to an ex-cereal maker.

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Episode 9-1: Zip Truffle Alfa-Bravo

Finally, our long-awaited rescue mission is go! With a little help from Mrs Molefield, our heroes Euan, James, Ross and new boy Scott set off on a high-stakes (no pun intended) quest to infiltrate a space station operated by the shadowy organisation known as SEBASTIAN, and recover their vampire friend Stuart. In this first part, they learn how to talk to computers, make – and possibly lose – a new friend, and unnecessarily complicate matters with a wrench. We’re in spaaaaaace!

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Episode 8-3: The Centre of the Labyrinth

Just in time for the new year (and I mean JUST in time), our heroes’ adventure in the Labyrinth of a Billion Bones finally concludes. But the minotaur is not all they have to worry about. I mean, it’s a big part of it, don’t get me wrong. It’s not as if it’s just going to let them stroll in there and start pulling its hair out. But there are also riddles to be pondered, enchanted weapons to be mastered, one last secret code to be agonised over, and a sinister presence closing in around the Rainy Day Adventure Club like thick, heavily foreshadowed fog. This is where it all ends. And by “it all”, I mean adventure 8. We’ll do more. But let’s allow ourselves to enjoy this moment of drama, shall we?

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We will return in 2017 with … well, hopefully more than two adventures! Our heroes’ next, absurdly daring mission is already being planned, so do check back to see how they get on! (Or use one of the links above so you don’t have to keep checking this clunky old website like a silly hairy caveperson.)

Episode 8-2: Sidestep Right

Armed with only a mirror, a rag and a pair of magical handcuffs, Gavin, Stuart, Val and Mark continue their descent into the Labyrinth of a Billion Bones. First they must grapple with a snake-haired monster who can’t remember whether she is Medusa or not, and decide which one of her stone victims is most worthy to be freed. Then, if they can work out the incantation to open another of those pesky puzzle doors, perhaps they’ll discover what nameless horror lurks in the darkness below. Well, actually, he does have a name, but it’s a spoiler and it’s not very scary, so let’s just stick with nameless horror for the time being, shall we?

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On the next episode… well, there’s a very exciting and dramatic “next episode” tease at the end of this episode, and I can’t really do it justice here with just a few lines of plain text. Big stuff happens, I dunno. Listen to the thing!

Episode 8-1: Minotaur Hair Casserole

In today’s episode, adventure veterans Gavin and Stuart are joined by fresh-faced newcomers Val and Mark. Just as well Mrs Molefield’s given them an easy task this time: all they have to do is venture deep into the Labyrinth of a Billion Bones, face the mythological beasts that roam its corridors, avoid falling into the deadly traps that lie around every corner, and find their way to the centre of the maze where the Minotaur awaits. Yawn! Still, I’m sure they’ll find a way to overcomplicate things…

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And make sure to check back next week, when our heroes will delve deeper into this delightfully devious dungeon!

Episode 7-3: On Cuttlefish Island

Washed up on the shore of Cuttlefish Island, four bedraggled figures reluctantly regain consciousness. Hooray, it’s Euan, Heather, James and Ross! And miraculously they’ve managed to hold onto their audio treasure map. And so, without pausing to mourn the loss of their ship and crewmates, they set about retrieving what they came for: a petal of the legendary silverbloom plant. Now, if they can just work out which way is west, they’ll be laughing.

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Our next adventure will commence in a few weeks’ time!

Episode 7-2: The Great Sea Cucumber

As they voyage towards Cuttlefish Island, Euan, Heather, James and Ross take some time to get to know their crewmates, uncovering many dark secrets in the process. How did Earlobe’s earlobe get like that? Why does nobody talk to the bard? And why does Captain Beardbeard seem intent on sailing them off the edge of the map? Alliances will be forged, pointless games of deceit will be played, and the entire system of piratical power relations will be called into question in this, the middle chapter of our most water-themed adventure since the last one!

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This adventure will conclude next week! If you miss it, I won’t be angry, but I’ll be disappointed.

Episode 7-1: The Voyage of Captain Beardbeard

We’re back! Euan, Heather, James and new guy Ross are summoned to Mrs Molefield’s shop to help her … bake a pie? It can’t be as simple as that – and sure enough, it isn’t. Before they know what’s going on they are in a seedy tavern bartering with a pirate captain for passage to a remote island. It is no small task for the players to prove themselves to the salty old sea dog, but as Ross makes abundantly clear, he is willing to do anything.

Anything.

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From left to right: James, Heather, Alex, Ross, Euan. But don’t think we dressed up as pirates just for this podcast! That would be silly and undignified! No, no, no, we were… we were having a pirate party…

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Stay tuned. The voyage continues next week!

Episode 6-3: S.E.B.A.S.T.I.A.N

Celebrate the festive season by joining Euan, Gavin, Heather and Stuart for the conclusion to their not-particularly-festive adventure in Atlantis Library! Squeal with delight as they finally make it to the library’s most restricted section! Gasp with horror at the revelations that take place there! Roll your eyes with impatience as Stuart tries to remember the title of a book and won’t let Gavin look it up! Scratch your armpit as you find out what all that S.E.B.A.S.T.I.A.N foreshadowing was about! Eat some Christmas pudding as the credits roll at the end! Pull a cracker after the episode is finished! From there on, pretty much go about your life as normal, but a little bit happier! These are all just suggestions, of course.

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Our next adventure will be out some time in the new year, hopefully while it is still relatively new. In the meantime, however you choose to spend your Decembers/Januaries, have a lovely time, and don’t be a stranger!